KRI LEARNS TO BLOG!

Monday, November 29, 2004

Hey You, Wonderful You!

I have nothing to say today, actually. But I have seen this greeting on one of the newsletters I subscribe to and kind of like it. If feels good when someone call out to you that way and I want to do the same to you people:
HEY YOU, WONDERFUL YOU!
It was written by a guy who call himself Boogie Jack and he writes about HTML and other webpage tricks, among other things. I'm not putting a link because this is not a business blog.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Finding Mahsuri

I am back from the Langkawi, the island of legends. I went there because everyone in the house thought I ought to go there and look for love in the form of a mysterious Mahsuri, the legendary princess who cursed the island into perpetual backwardness, until the government declared it a tax-free haven many years ago. Everybody is so concerned about my one-decade solitary confinement that I am beginning to suspect they actually envy my carefree life as a single father of four. My mother has issued her decree she has had enough of babysitting me and my four children for the past ten years. A month's stay at Pondok Fauzi on her own has somehow enlightened her to the fact that 50-year-old baby boys actually look after their elderly mothers, and not the other way round. Well, there goes my short-lived caring society and extended family bliss!

My three dear daughters were up in arms against me, too. They are now old and wise enough to tell me that they no longer have the time to listen to funny stories, or put up with my one-meal culinary experiments or appreciate my bhangra moves -- they have school to attend and careers to plan for. They unanimously agreed that I should not be living my semi-retirement alone anymore and are now prepared to accept a step-mother in the house, however and whoever she might be. All female names in my mobile phonebook are now suspect and they screen my incoming messages despite my protests that they are all business or casual contacts. Even Thina (short for Thinagaran s/o Subramaniam) who sent me a Raya greeting by SMS was a possible prospect because they thought his name belonged to a woman.

And the agent provocatuer behind all this after Raya mini upheaval is none other than my dear sister, Zah, who came visiting on the second day of Raya with her (third) husband. Zah is the youngest and the fairest of my three elder sisters. She looks much younger than her age and I have never been successful in telling people that I am actually her younger brother. We are very close to each other even though we grew up in different places and lead separate lives. Maybe it was because our respective marriages broke up within a space of two days in the same week ten years ago. What a weird coincident, but never mind that.

This sister of mine has a gift of the gab; she can describe the mudane task of making a sandwich and make it sound like it is the most interesting event of the year. We would usually pay close attention to her animated narration of anything, jaws dropping like pre-school kids listening to fairy tales being read out to them. When she came to visit us on Monday to tell us about her shopping trip to Langkawi where she found a suitable prospective bride for her 50-year-old little brother, she certainly had a very captive audience under her spell. And by the time she finished her presentation, I had lost out to her three to one. She had my Mom and all of my kids on her side. Moreover she has been married thrice while I have been married only once, a record which she had always challenged me to beat.

In the end I reluctantly agreed to consider her proposal provided I get to see and talk to this mysterious Mahsuri lady in person before I decide whether the matter should be pursued further. With whatever little clues she provided to locate and recognize this woman, I made preparations to gallantly brave the open seas and seek out this maiden in distress, slay a few dragons if necessary, win her heart and bring her home to live happily ever after as fairy tales often go.

And coincidently, too, I had a couple of friends who were planning a fishing trip in Langkawi on the following Monday so I jumped into their car and we headed for Kuala Kedah to take a ferry boat from there. In Langkawi we were greeted by a mutual friend who is working there for a stint and he took us to his boat that the guys were going to use later that evening. From the ice-box in his boat, he took out a large Jenahak that he has kept for our lunch. The baby must have weighed well over 1kg! He threw the fish into the boot of his car and we drove around town looking for a restaurant to specially cook the fish for us. We found one Thai seafood outlet that was willing to turn the Jenahak into a Tiga Rasa (three flavours; sweet, sour and salty) delicacy. Combined with a couple of side orders, it was lunch fit for kings!

After lunch, they went back to the boat to get ready for the fishing trip while I explored the town like a tourist, amply armed with a stack of business cards, just in case I need to wriggle out of embarassing situations. After covering every inch of Kuah, I could not find any trace of the lady in question. There were many that fitted her description and I guessed my mission had failed miserably. Not entirely, as I did get an excellent lunch treat and a box of duty free chocolate cookies for the kids at home. I am definitely coming back to the island as soon as I learn how to cast a line. Or maybe I will move my office there, with or without my elusive and mysterious Mahsuri.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Situation: Back to Normal

Ramadan certainly can do funny things to semi-retired blog writers. I am being too general but it certainly did funny things to semi-retired blog writing me. Any attempt to string together a short sentence that would make any sense would definitely trigger a hidden automatic shut-off switch -- not on the PC but somewhere in me, and I would find my face in collision course with the monitor screen or the keyboard. I have been lucky because I was able to snap out of it just before the impact, so no damage done to the computer accessories so far.

To avoid churning out worse rubbish than what has already been written on this blog, I decided to lay off for a while during the fasting month. But Ramadan is gone and now I'm back to normal i.e. with ample sugar, caffeine and nicotine running in my blood. And as usual, I am at a loss for words...

There are two things on my mind right now. One is to take up T A Bustaman's offer to lend me his Inul Daratista VCDs and the other is to take a trip to Langkawi tomorrow. The former is one of my crazy vices (there aren't many, mind you) and I am a diehard fan of Inul's, er, athletic endeavours. After T A Bustaman, of course. He has the VCDs, I don't. That should put us in the same league with former Indonesian president Megawati's husband, who was caught practising his dangdut moves with Inul backstage and the preacher who hung Inul's poster on the wall of his mosque in appreciation of her artistic contribution to society.

The latter too is one of the crazy things I do once in a while. I'm not letting the cat of of the bag yet but I think I may have something interesting to report when I come back.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Eid Mubarak

Wishing everyone a Happy Hari Raya. If you're driving back to your hometowns, please be careful and enjoy the drive.

posting this from a Cybercafe, I forgot my keys.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Ride of My Life

The fasting month seems to have affected my creativity, if you can call what I've written so far as that. I simply can't find anything to write about. Can't be due to lack of sugar or nicotine though, as I surf and blog mostly at night.

Anyway, something interesting happened on my way to work a few days ago. Riding rickety MARA buses to town from the rural areas was never exciting but last Friday's had to be THE bus ride of my life. I noticed that they had a different driver as I got on the bus. I've never seen him before; he was probably on loan from other routes filling in for one of the regular drivers. This guy had very short cropped hair, a very stern look and a pair of MIB dark glasses on.

I knew that we were dealing with no ordinary driver when he tried to do wheelies on every take off from the bus stops. It was an old bus and of course he didn't even succeed to burn the rear tyres but all we got were rude jolts everytime he changed up. He really floored the old gal through the narrow rural roads and I was getting really worried while clutching the back of the front seat for dear life! Everything on the bus rattled and I could've sworn that I felt something came out of my ears!

Visions of what-ifs were flashing right before my eyes -- what if the tyres blew, what if the engine fell off its mountings, what if the rear axle decided to stay behind, what if the steering wheel came right off, etc. etc. There were so many possibilities for us to make it to the front pages the next day! All it would take was a stray goat to cross the road and we could all cancel our Raya plans.

At one bus stop, a passenger miscalculated his timing and was waving down the bus from the other side of the road just as the bus was about to pass him by. Other drivers would've just ignored him but this driver practically stood on the brakes, locking the rear tyres. The bus screeched to a standstill a good few yards away from the passenger. Good thing that it was on a rural road otherwise we would've quite a pile-up right behind us. One comforting thought though, the old bus had good brakes!

To cut a long one short, we survived the bus ride with all our body parts in their right places. I checked mine; they were all there. I didn't know how the poor bus itself fared but I felt I was ready for anything when I got off. Who says commuting to work is not fun anymore?