No Kissing Please, We're Malaysians

Just to remind you people not to kiss in public. DBKL had taken a couple to court for doing that. Other town councils in the country are following suit too. It used to be popular on bumper stickers but now the message is official: You Kiss, You Pay.

A pair of kissing parakeets photographed by Kalyan Varma. Check out his excellent gallery of nature-based eye candies.

Things are much better in Indonesia, though. Kissing in public becomes an offence only if you do it for more than five minutes. So I guess they will have to time themselves whenever they pucker up.

But over here, the safest way to express yourself would be to type "MUAHH<SPACE>MUAHH<SPACE>MUAHH!" or simply ":-x" on your handphone and send it to your other half. Well, it worked for divorces, so I reckon it would for public displays of affection too.

A certain Mokcik was lucky because those cleaners behind the bushes didn't file a complaint when she kissed the Pokcik under the bridge. I'm going to have problems stealing kisses in car parks, PLUS R&Rs, lift lobbies, etc.

Where got fun, ah? A support group for Public Kissers Anonymous, anyone?

About Us

It's out of the bag, folks. I'm ready to confess.

Remember the post on my search for Mahsuri in December 2004? Well, I found her. I turned my back on my buddies, abandoned a potentially exciting fishing trip in Langkawi and headed instead down south on a hunch. Then I managed to smoke her out and there she was, folks, my dream girl!

I'll spare you the juicy details, but suffice to say that there were music in the background and fireworks in the sky. No, we didn't dance around the car or break into song in the carpark. But I think I fell in love with her right there.

Almost a year after that carpark meeting in Melaka, we decided to tie the knot. There were still some issues at the time that needed to be addressed then, so we decided to get solemnised out of the country. At least until we get the legal papers sorted out.

On November 20, 2005, Tiffany and I were duly married before an Imam in flowing robes somewhere in a Hatyai suburb, according to the Shariah laws. It was a very simple affair, the bride was in a pair of faded jeans and I, the groom, was in my t-shirt and cargo pants. We had Chinese tea after the ceremony, courtesy of the Imam.

We then packed into the same pickup we came and were driven back to the border town of Padang Besar. Having fleeced us almost dry, the pickup driver and his buddy gave us their best service as chauffeur, instant wedding planner, best men and tour guides. They even cleared our pasports through immigration for us while we stayed put in the truck and pretended to look kinda lost.

Hey, we deserved to be treated like royalty; after all we were Raja Sehari (king and queen for a day), right? Our marital status received its first ever official recognition when the immigration officer extended Tiff's stay to a month to allow her to be with her new Malaysian husband here. That was nice but she had to be back in Singpore the following day for work.

Tiff was more relaxed on the long drive back to Singapore. We stopped over in KL at about midnight for some food. SM was already there waiting for us in Medan Tuanku and he became the first person (after that kind immigration officer) in Malaysia and Singapore to know about our marriage.

So there you have it. I found my Mahsuri down south, married her too. Wish us luck and wish us happiness.